It's Christmas in Middle-earth!

My Christmas media traditions!

We have lots of Christmas traditions in my family. Here are some traditions that specifically involve movies, music, and other media.

Christmas is:

It's A Wonderful Life


Is it a cliche to watch and enjoy this film at Christmas? According to other movies and TV: yes. But I grew up without this film, only discovering it as a sixteen-year-old high school student. I watched it and truly loved it.



No other movie inspires me more to the beat the crap out of an old man in a wheelchair, as Mr. Potter is like the bastard of all Christmas. It starts me off with a healthy dose of Christmas cheer, which becomes intense rage, and then devolves into blubbering tears at the end. This movie is kind of like being an alcoholic!

Mr. Krueger's Christmas


This is the spiritual successor to It's A Wonderful Life, also starring Jimmy Stewart. I like to imagine Mr. Stewart is playing the same character from Wonderful Life, only many years later. .. And with his name changed to Mr. Krueger for some reason. He's a tired old widower now, working as a custodian and living in a basement. You may have never heard of this one if you're not Mormon, as it was made by Brigham Young University in 1980. It's been on video at Church Libraries ever since. It's totally cheesy at times, as it is part of church doctrine that all BYU films should be (D&C 198:4-6). But the corniness is completely forgiven because this is Jimmy Stewart we're talking about. The man has got ten lifetime passes, and he makes it genuine and touching. The ending is quite un-corny, and it amazes me that this was shown on CBS. Nothing so overtly religious would make it onto the airwaves today. This is another one that just breaks me down and makes me weep at the end.

Here's a low-quality, stretched-out version of the movie.

Or you can go here and order the free DVD


P.S. I actually met Clarissa (little girl with mittens) while I was in New York, at a ward function. She was very nice, and had a daughter that looked just like her.


Harry Potter movies


I'm not a huge fan of Harry Potter, but I find the movies more than tolerable. I guess because the first ones came out at Christmas time, they got themselves a spot on this list purely by association. The movies aren't particularly entertaining to me, but they act as a kind of pleasant Christmas opiate. There's always one or two of them on TV at my parents' house, and it's nice to lounge around watching the exploits of familiar, comforting characters and their whimsical world. They're mostly forgettable, too, so they feel new to me every time I watch them.

A Christmas Carol (Specifically, a Muppet Christmas Carol)


I love A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. Apart from being an entertaining story, it's a great example of how you can have a good story with an important moral and not make it overly religious or overly stupid fluff. Most of the time, "secular" Christmas stories that try to teach something absolutely fall flat. They're so generic and blandly moral that they just look retarded. Take one of the dozens of movies about Santa Claus that's come out in the last decade. They all treat Santa Claus as if he's the Messiah Himself. He has a mission to bring joy to the children, but ONLY if you believe in him! You must believe, and then you will receive the Spirit. The CHRISTMAS Spirit! And be rewarded with gifts! But Santa needs YOU to bless and poor and lowly. You see, he blesses them THROUGH you. And if you will just believe, Santa will come again... Next year. Barf. Santa is Santa. He doesn't give a crap whether or not you believe in him. He gives you presents if you've been nice, and shuns the naughty. That's a Christmas story I can get behind. I don't need Santa to be Jesus.

Anyway, I digress. A Christmas Carol rocks. I grew up with Mickey's Christmas Carol which was terrifying, and watched A Muppet Christmas Carol in theaters when it came out. I actually enjoy several versions of the film, and have made it a tradition to watch one of them in my English classes before Christmas.


1. George C. Scott Scrooge
I think his version is my personal favorite, although it has issues. Ghost of Christmas past is kind of a Tina Turner / Mon Mothma mashup.

The scene with Scrooge's girlfriend could have used a little more feeling. Ghost of Christmas future is probably the scariest in this one, though. That thing is scary.


2. Patrick Stewart Scrooge
This one is also good, although sometimes baffling. This one has the best Scrooge's girlfriend scene. Captain Picard is really quite broken up over this memory. I also liked that this tried to remain very faithful to the story, although the "comic relief" is odd at times. Also, Ghost of Christmas past (shown above) is... Really rather freaky looking. He looks kind of like the zombie child of Legolas and wax sculpture of Michael Jackson.


3. Michael Caine Scrooge
Michael Caine is the man. When I was young I just took the Muppets for granted in this. They were just other living characters. Now I find it a little odd that Mr. Caine had to act alongside puppets. It's all good. Love the Ring Wraith / Future Ghost. The songs really make this one awesome.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation


There's not a lot that needs to be said about this movie. It's Chevy Chase at his very best, before he lost his mind.


The Griswolds are like the archetypal American family. Family = comprised of completely dysfunctional / borderline deranged people. If you haven't figured it out yet, that's basically what families are. The beauty is how we make it work anyway.

LOTR


Ah, LOTR. I missed the Fellowship of the Ring while serving my mission, although I did get to see snippets here and there in commercials and at members' homes. I returned to Montana on December 18th, 2002. It was the debut of The Two Towers.



To celebrate my homecoming, we rented the Fellowship of the Ring and we all watched it downstairs. I was captivated, in every sense of the word. I've always been kind of obsessed with Tolkien, and this was like being in heaven. I loved films. For a long time I even wanted to be a director. I had TWO YEARS of no movies other than Johnny Lingo, and then The Fellowship of the Ring in all its glory. The second it finished, we rushed to the theater where we watched The Two Towers. The place was packed. I remember the almost reverential feeling that swept over me hearing those first few strands of music while the scene sweeps over the mountains. I still get chills watching it.



I'm going to say that watching the Fellowship and Two Towers was the single best movie-going experience of my life. The build up to the Battle of Helms Deep, the arguments and fear, everyone waiting in silence for the orc army to arrive... And then it starts to rain. I recall how the crowd erupted into laughter when you hear Gimli say, "You could have picked a better spot..." The audience desperately needed a little comic relief because we were all so tense.

Ah, the memories! What a great, great film.

Consequently, that experience spoiled me for months. I couldn't watch any other movies after that because they sucked so bad in comparison. I even tried renting Attack of the Clones (I missed that one, too) and shut it off halfway through. It was unbearable.

I associate LOTR with homecoming and Christmas now, and hope to make viewing the trilogy over the course of Christmas Break a tradition for my kiddies. Just look at those pictures. How can you not love this film? If you don't love this film, then quite frankly, I don't want to know you.

Gaming (video and board)


As if I need Christmas as an excuse for video gaming... But there really is something nice about staying up late on Christmas break and playing games all night. This "tradition" started with Super Mario Brothers 2 and continues to this day (ask Sabrina about our awesome Bubble Bobble event on New Year's Eve!) In recent years I've really gotten into board games, too, and there's nothing quite like a beautiful board game set up with all the pretty pieces, some Mountain Dew, and some eager players...


(a nice family enjoying Talisman)

It just sounds heavenly to me. Hopefully I can bother enough people to get at least one good bout of Talisman... Maybe some Risk, too. Heck, I'll even settle for some Phase 10 at this point.

Town Pump Christmas Eve


Not technically a media-related tradition, I thought I'd bring it up anyway. In Montana we have a ubiquitous convenience store called Town Pump. A few years ago we all went down there on Christmas Eve. We said we wanted to go visit the nice folks who had to work that night and wish them a Merry Christmas, but mostly it was an excuse to buy junk food and Mountain Dew. We did it again next year, calling it "tradition," and it has been that way ever since. I love this tradition.


The Crappy New Year's Eve dance

What would Christmas Break be without a crappy New Year's Eve dance at the Stake Center? The tradition here is to get all nice and dressed up, go to the New Year's Eve dance, complain about how utterly and completely horrible it is and how they used to be way, way better, and leave at about 10:30. Drink Martinelli's at midnight in our pj's.

I think this photo of the refreshments table, taken with my cell phone, sums up the New Year's Eve stake dance experience.



An empty table, two sad balloons, a warm cup of generic 7up, a ziploc with a few muffins in it, and an unopened bag of Funyuns. Par-tee-down? YES!


And finally, weird/awesome Christmas music!

What's Christmas Break without an insane soundtrack? I love weird/crappy/stupid/awesome/unique Christmas music. I have amassed a little collection, and this year I'm doing a special edition of Middle-earth Radio: IT'S A MIDDLE-EARTH CHRISTMAS!! (Dec. 18th, 89.9 FM, 7-9 PM!) I'll post the play list here soon. It's my personal gift to YOU.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, BUON NATALE!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!